Episode 8: Do I Need to Have a Spiritual Awakening to Grow?

[00:00:00] Erin: Welcome to the Grounded in Love podcast. This is a podcast talking about conscious living and loving. We are now on episode eight. This is your host, Erin and Garrett. Today, we're going to talk about Spiritual awakenings and living in the present moment and things like that kind of whatever comes up
[00:00:41] Garrett: Yeah, kind of a random episode of what comes up in our minds today.
[00:00:46] Erin: Yeah, we'll see.
[00:00:47] Garrett: We'll see.
[00:00:48] Erin: How do you want to get started? Let's take a first look at that question of what is spiritual awakening? Because people who may be listening to this may be interested and everybody's spiritual awakenings I think are different experiences.
[00:01:12] Garrett: I think a spiritual awakening is not something that you can bring upon yourself. It's something that comes to you. It's not something that you can facilitate. You can't like, do it.
[00:01:25] Erin: What about all those like monks who spend years and years doing yoga, meditation, and all that in order to bring about a spiritual awakening? Isn’t that something that they did?
[00:01:40] Garrett: I think the monks know, once they get taught properly, that they have to let go of the expectation of anything. So they can't expect to have an awakening. If that's the case, it may not come.
They have to go be a monk, give up everything, renounce everything, and then also renounce the idea that they are supposed to spiritually awaken.
[00:02:05] Erin: Yeah.
[00:02:06] Garrett: Because you can't make it happen.
[00:02:10] Erin: Right. And they probably know that.
[00:02:14] Garrett: Once they get there, they're certainly taught that. Then they'll have an awakening or they won't. But the awakening really is just a realization of what is already known.
[00:02:26] Erin: Okay.
[00:02:26] Garrett: So it's not something that is foreign to anyone. The awakening is known. When you have one, you know that you've always known.
[00:02:36] Erin: Eckhart Tolle said we all have the seed of awakening within us. And it just is a matter of when that seed is birthed. Is it in this life? Is it in the next or another? It may not be this life.
[00:02:51] Garrett: And that doesn't mean that if you don't have an awakening, you can't grow and you can't get closer to a spiritual self or a true self. You can get closer to a true self whether you awaken in this lifetime or not.
Some people don't have more realizations until the very end of life. They're setting themselves up for their next incarnation, the next time that they come to earth. And some people don't wake up at all in their lifetimes.
[00:03:19] Erin: So what would you say an awakening is?
[00:03:21] Garrett: Remembering who you are.
[00:03:22] Erin: Oh yeah. You did kind of just say that, didn't you?
[00:03:24] Garrett: Yeah. Remembering who you are.
[00:03:27] Erin: Okay. They use the term awaken because it's the idea that you're waking up from a dream. Like, oh, now all of a sudden remember that there's this whole other. Other…
[00:03:42] Garrett: There’s an entire dimension to life that you didn't understand before. There's a completeness to life.
[00:03:50] Erin: Okay. And what Eckhart was saying in that podcast was we're living in this horizontal dimension. And when we awaken, we realize that there's a vertical dimension as well.
[00:04:02] Garrett: Correct. There's more to this horizontal physical plane. There's an ethereal or eternal element as well. That we don't always have access to because…
[00:04:14] Erin: Garrett is making signs with his hands that are going vertical. Although you can not see this. He's explaining it in a vertical way.
[00:04:22] Garrett: It's like the depth of the ocean, but then also all the way into space eternally. It's so deep and it's so long, like the depth of this vertical dimension is.
[00:04:39] Erin: Like more than we could ever imagine.
[00:04:42] Garrett: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
[00:04:44] Erin: And so, the horizontal plane would be the human existence with a past, a present and a future.
[00:04:53] Garrett: Also subject to linear time.
[00:04:55] Erin: Yeah, linear time. The vertical is timeless which is a very difficult concept. Where everything happens all at once.
[00:05:08] Garrett: The horizontal plane is one where we're in our thinking mind. We're in our ego. We're trying to live in this physical world and get along with people or not get along with people or whatever. We're thinking all the time. And the vertical dimension is the present moment.
It's where you look at something and don't label it. You're just aware of it. You're alert to it, you're aware of it, but you're not labeling it. You don't say that's a beautiful tree. You just look at the tree.
[00:05:38] Erin: Yeah. That's another thing I wanted to discuss is that present moment and how to bring that into the horizontal realm of time and labeling and thinking. I'd say that it can be very simple, but also somewhat challenging.
Because you're not supposed to strive or try not to think or try to be in the moment so much. It's just kind of supposed to happen.
[00:06:10] Garrett: Well, I used to do that. I used to try to be in the present moment and it was incredibly frustrating. Because it was this battle of like, no, I'm supposed to be present. I'm only focused on the present right now. But by telling myself I was needed to focus on the present, I wasn't in the present moment.
[00:06:29] Erin: Right. So how, how do we live in the present moment if we can't try to live in the present moment?
[00:06:33] Garrett: There's lots of different techniques, but one of them is just to suspend thought.
[00:06:39] Erin: Okay. But we're also not supposed to like, try not to think.
[00:06:43] Garrett: Correct. Most things in the spiritual world are these paradoxes. So it's like, well, don't think, but don't try not to think so don't try not to think to think.
[00:06:57] Erin: Okay…
[00:07:00] Garrett: This of course makes no sense. And it's not going to make a lot of rational sense, but it does make sense when you don't stop doing something. You're letting something happen and letting it be. It's not about stopping the thought. It's about suspending the thought where you don't fight it.
It's just there and it goes away. It comes into your mind and it goes away. You don't put more meaning to the thought than what needs to be there.
[00:07:31] Erin: Okay. So let's say you and I are sitting here having this conversation. Do you consider yourself right now like in the present moment?
[00:07:39] Garrett: Yes.
[00:07:40] Erin: And you are thinking and you're talking to me.
[00:07:45] Garrett: I think there's a difference between thinking about what you're going to say and saying things while they're being thought. So, when I talk in this podcast with you, I don't think about what I'm going to say.
I listen to what you're saying, and then something happens in me where I eventually respond to you. But I don't think, oh, I'm going to respond with this, this, and this next.
[00:08:13] Erin: Yeah.
[00:08:13] Garrett: Many of us do that.
[00:08:15] Erin: We do.
[00:08:16] Garrett: When we communicate with other people, we don't listen to them, really. We just think about what we need to say next.
[00:08:21] Erin: Right.
[00:08:21] Garrett: Or maybe Erin, because she drives the navigation of the podcast, maybe she's thinking about where do we need to take this next? What's the next question?
But for me, I've been fortunate that I don't have to do that so much. I just kind of go along with what you say, say what I feel comes to me and don't think too much more about it once it leaves my mind.
[00:08:43] Erin: And that would be then, living in the present moment, in awareness, consciousness.
[00:08:49] Garrett: Yeah. Present moment. So when you're making food in the kitchen, can you cut salad on the cutting board…
[00:08:59] Erin: Oh no, we're not bringing that back, are we?
[00:09:01] Garrett: Can you cut it in a way where you're just focused on cutting it? There's no other focus. Yoga talks about the concept of a one-pointed mind. A one-pointed mind is one thing that you're focused on. And that focus could be the present moment. Or the focus could be your breath. The focus could be any one thing at one time.
[00:09:26] Erin: Mm hmm.
[00:09:26] Garrett: So many of us are trying to live in a world where there are multiple things going on in our brains. We're trying to figure out multiple steps. We're trying to think about the next five things we have to do.
And right now, we're just trying to accomplish this one thing so we can get to the next thing so we can finish the five things that we need to get to throughout the day. Instead of just doing the one thing that we're doing right now.
[00:09:48] Erin: Right. And I think, the typical question that arises is well, if I'm not planning these things, if I'm not thinking through what needs to happen and all of that, how am I ever going to live in this world?
And the idea is that it’s just going to come to you when you need it.
[00:10:09] Garrett: Yeah. You're trained to believe that you need to think about everything. Because otherwise, if you don't think through everything, nothing will get accomplished. And that's just not true. You don't need to think about everything to get things accomplished.
In fact, the more that you think, the more you may miss out on things that could be easier paths for you to get to the same thing. The world and our culture teaches us to think, think, think, think, think. Whereas instead we need to stop thinking so much. Instead, let things flow through us and our attention will go to where it needs to go.
[00:10:55] Erin: Ah, that was it, yeah.
[00:10:56] Garrett: It's not something you have to direct. If you're living in the moment, and you're doing your best to continue to live in the moment, your attention will be brought to where it needs to be brought.
[00:11:08] Erin: I could see, though, if there's some sort of transition time where you're getting this down, you could be a mess.
[00:11:18] Garrett: You had told me in the past, Garrett, you can't remember anything anymore.
[00:11:24] Erin: Mm hmm. Yeah.
[00:11:24] Garrett: And it’s because I was in this transitional phase of trying to be in the moment. But then you were used to me being very diligent about the things that I have to do.
And I still put things in my calendar, and I still have a schedule because that's the nature of my work that I do. But I let my attention go to where it needs to go.
I still want to know, where did it come from where we feel like we have to think so much about everything? Is it a school thing? A cultural thing?
[00:12:03] Erin: It has to be an evolution through time where it started with one thing and then it was…wait we need to think about more and more. The more complex our society gets, the more we're forced to think, right?
[00:12:19] Garrett: I guess. But I also want to distinguish between thinking and learning. Learning is very important, and learning is not truly thinking. You can think about what you're learning, but learning is learning. And I think the two are separate.
As the world has gotten more and more complex, the ego feels like it needs to be more and more involved. And that's why I think thinking has gotten more and more out of control, because the ego is a direct reflection of how much the ego has its hands on ourselves and society.
[00:12:55] Erin: Yeah. Do you think the ego has grown over time?
[00:12:59] Garrett: Yes.
[00:13:00] Erin: It seems like that, doesn't it?
[00:13:02] Garrett: If you think about where the egos come from it makes sense. Let's say you subscribe to the notion of reincarnation, which you don't have to believe in, but let's say that’s what you believe happens. If that's the case, then your ego, your human form, has died over and over and over again.
And as it continues to die over and over and over again, it gets scared that it's going to die again because it knows it's died before. And it doesn't know the in between. The ego has no way of understanding that in between of death. It only knows that it was born and it dies. And then all of a sudden it was born again and it dies.
So if that keeps happening over and over, you can see that the ego would grow.
[00:13:47] Erin: Mm-Hmm.
[00:13:47] Garrett: Because it's getting more and more scared.
[00:13:50] Erin: Yeah. That's just terrifying. Our poor egos. It’s just horrific. You only know you birth and death. Like over and over.
[00:14:00] Garrett: Why is there so much suffering? Well, because of that. Well, why is it set up that way? That’s the thing that we'll never know. Why does the world and the universe work that way?
But it's interesting. It creates a lot of crazy stuff.
[00:14:16] Erin: Yeah. To say the least.
[00:14:18] Garrett: good and bad.
[00:14:21] Erin: Yeah. Pleasures and pains. It's a very challenging thing to try to not think.
[00:14:30] Garrett: Yeah.
[00:14:30] Erin: And I guess that's where meditation comes in.
[00:14:34] Garrett: Yeah, meditation is the exercise of suspending thought. Because when you can do that for a period of time, especially if you can increase your meditation to do it longer, then you go deeper into meditation.
You start to feel your body, your body starts to have these tensions and energy starts to flow through it. And you can feel that energy as it moves through your body.
Eventually you can forget you even have a body and you're in this place of samadhi, which is calm, peaceful presence.
It’s a nice place to be where you don't feel like you have a body. You don't really know what's going on. In fact, sometimes you aren't even aware you're in that state until you come out of it. Kind of like being on a drug. If you were really hopped up on a drug you forget you're on the drug until you come out of being on a drug.
[00:15:31] Erin: Just a note, when you're sitting there not thinking in meditation, thoughts do arise in meditation, just for clarity.
[00:15:38] Garrett: Yeah, they do. And they come in.
I used to be hard on myself and I'd say you need to go away thought. Like get the F out of here. Why are you here?
You know, I'm meditating right now. Why are you coming into my mind?
People always talked about the thought passing through and I never understood what that meant.
What do you mean? My thought doesn't pass through. It just sticks. And now it's there, you know?
For me, it made more sense when I saw it as it's a thought that you're not attached to.
[00:16:18] Erin: Yeah,
[00:16:19] Garrett: It's only a thought.
[00:16:21] Erin: Mm hmm.
[00:16:22] Garrett: And then it goes away.
[00:16:23] Erin: Yeah, you're not going think about the thought.
[00:16:25] Garrett: Right and you're not going to think about getting rid of the thought because you need to meditate. And it's kind of like life.
All of our life just moves and changes. Sometimes you're in a really spiritual place with life and sometimes you're not. You’re in a place of doing or you're caught up in whatever things are going on and all of that is okay.
It's just part of the way life works. It just flows. Sometimes it feels like you need a rhyme or reason to your life. But sometimes life doesn't have a rhyme or reason. It's just life, right? It's just going on.
[00:17:07] Erin: Yeah, it comes in waves. You grow for a while and then you kind of plateau and you may struggle for a while. Or you feel like nothing's going on and then you go through another growth period. That's more apparent now to me.
Before, did you think you could see the patterns ebb and flow?
[00:17:31] Garrett: No, I couldn't. I couldn't see it. It was more like I just lived through it.
[00:17:36] Erin: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:17:37] Garrett: But yeah, you can start to actually see like the ebbs and flows as they're happening. Or I realize that I have been in this state of relative unconsciousness lately.
[00:17:48] Erin: Or, I've been a little less conscious because I've had a lot of things going on that life. Doing has taken over or emotional experiences… things like that.
[00:18:05] Garrett: The real growth is when you can see things faster. When you see things faster you are growing. You’re growing because you're able to modify those thoughts instead of having them take over you. They become just thoughts.
[00:18:27] Erin: Okay. So let me ask you, do you think that you can see these things? I just asked you, did you see them before and it was no. So do you think you can see the things and understand this without being spiritually awakened?
[00:18:47] Garrett: I think that you can resonate with it. I think you can have those moments. But I think a lot of your life is hidden from you. You can understand being present is important. Or you know it’s healthy. But you don't see when you're not present in a lot of your life.
It's not your fault. It's just part of your journey.
[00:19:14] Erin: That’s just where you are at in the journey. No fault or anything.
[00:19:20] Garrett: I think people struggle with that. I think people want to be more aware and they want to have more growth and they're in this transitional phase of trying to identify what's going wrong in their life.
And so they want to have this new thing that helps them.
[00:19:40] Erin: Right. And if you’re listening to these kinds of things you are resonating. You're getting close. If you weren't close to awakening, if you hadn't already or whatever, then this wouldn't come to you at all.
You wouldn’t resonate. You wouldn't have any interest in.
[00:20:08] Garrett: Yeah. So, tell the story about the Encinitas shop.
[00:20:12] Erin: Oh, yeah. So, I was shopping with some friends yesterday. We were in a town called Encinitas here and walking down the street.
We came across this place called earth elements. Really cute spiritual related shop. And I went in there and I was talking to somebody that worked there and I said, gosh, is this new? Is this place new? I've been shopping in Encinitas or walking that street for years.
And she's like, no, we've been here for 16 years. And I was like, Oh my God. Okay. I completely missed that. And she said, you know, it's just one of those places that you don't see until it's your time to see it.
[00:20:58] Garrett: Yeah.
[00:20:59] Erin: It just appears when, when you need it or when you're ready for it. It was so weird.
[00:21:05] Garrett: Right? Super weird. Because you've gone up and down that street tons of times. Because you're very familiar with that area and that shop never called to you.
[00:21:16] Erin: Yeah.
[00:21:16] Garrett: It’s like this podcast.
You're not finding this podcast if you just want to hear the latest gossip about celebrities. Well, maybe you like that and that's fine.
This podcast is specifically for people that are interested in this type of thing. And if you're interested in this type of thing, it's because you're having some kind of personal awareness or growth that's already happening in you.
[00:21:45] Erin: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:21:46] Garrett: We're just discussing some topics that we've found over time. What we've had to learn and grow from as well as learning how to keep ourselves on track to continue this growth.
So, what is the downside to a spiritual awakening?
[00:22:04] Erin: Well, it's challenging. Like we've talked about many, many times about how it's challenging to go through all of the changes. Of the loss of pleasures and that sort of thing. But what do you have in mind?
[00:22:20] Garrett: I would say that it's the reordering of your entire life.
[00:22:24] Erin: Well, yeah, yes.
[00:22:27] Garrett: So that presents its challenges. After mine, I was like, Oh, this is amazing. I feel whole. I feel complete. I know I'm whole. I know I'm complete. This is everything that I knew I always was. And now I know it.
I don't need to do or be anything. And everything's just going to transpire for me. I don't have to force things.
This was all wonderful. But the next morning I was like, oh shit, I have to reorder my entire life? All the ways I used to think are not applicable anymore.
[00:22:59] Erin: They talk about that as like integration, right? Like integrating this new, understanding into the life that you already have.
[00:23:08] Garrett: Yeah.
[00:23:09] Erin: And that's the tricky part.
[00:23:12] Garrett: It's very tricky. My mom feels like I'm distant from her now because I don't relate in the same way that she's used to with me. And although I love her just the same as I always have if not more now than I ever have.
She doesn't feel that anymore because how you connect with people changes. You're not giving them ego validation and you're not seeking validation from them either. So what they're used to giving you, you're not receiving anymore, and that feels weird to them and makes them feel kind of distant.
And then you're not giving them the stuff that they're used to getting from you. And that creates a distance for many people.
[00:23:55] Erin: Yeah. Right. I know we've said it before, but that's a really challenging thing for partners. If you have a spouse and you awaken and they don't. They don't understand that at all.
And your relationship changes because you've changed.
[00:24:10] Garrett: Right. And then who knows where that relationship goes from there.
[00:24:14] Erin: Yeah.
[00:24:15] Garrett: All relationships change and your relationship with yourself changes. Your relationship with the way you make choices about how you live your life and how you want to love yourself or take care of yourself change.
It's like all these things are the patterns of your mind. You’ll be unwinding them and they can be very strong. They are very strong. Your mind is a very amazing thing, and it creates very strong patterns. And those patterns are hard to let go.
[00:24:47] Erin: Yeah. So not only is it your mind that you're unwinding but you're living in this society that still is almost requiring you to do all the things that you used to do. And so, you are making new patterns that can both work in the society and can work with this new way of being. How do you do it?
[00:25:19] Garrett: I think it takes a lot of grace for yourself, patience, and removal of judgment. Which is hard to do in the beginning. The judgment of I'm not doing enough. I'm not being a good enough awakened person.
[00:25:39] Erin: Right. Yeah.
[00:25:40] Garrett: Your ego is latching onto something new to feel not good enough about.
So there's a lot of patience. There's a lot of grace. There's a lot of ceasing the thought and trying to be more present more often.
There's a lot of learning. I think there's podcasts, of course, and books and teachers that you read and you learn from. And those help make sense of a lot of things that you feel lost in, in this new way of life. It's going to sometimes feel lonely and you will feel a bit lost.
But that's why there's people out there that love you so much that all they want to do is be there for you when you're ready.
[00:26:33] Erin: Um, people as in, what do you mean?
[00:26:36] Garrett: Well, people like us, all these teachers.
[00:26:38] Erin: Oh, okay.
[00:26:39] Garrett: They love you completely. And they're just waiting there until you're ready for them.
[00:26:49] Erin: And then it's like the store in Encinitas.
[00:26:54] Garrett: It's like the store in Encinitas. They don't see your ego. They see your true self.
And they just give you the grace of knowing that all these things about you that you think about yourself, all these imperfections you think you have, they don't see those things because they know they're not true.
They know they're just a facade. So they see you as you.
[00:27:16] Erin: Yeah. Yeah, All right, I think we can wrap it up. Thank you for listening.